Modesty Matters

The choices we make regarding
our apparel, our appearance, and our conduct,
reflect what is in our hearts.

By Dixie Matthews

Take a look around you in a shopping mall, grocery store, at work, or at school, and think about the people you see. It doesn’t take long to realize that there are no two people exactly alike. Not only do physical features and sizes vary, but also people dress differently and conduct themselves in different ways.

Blue jeans, tee shirts, and sneakers may predominate in the teen scene, while three-piece suits and designer originals show up in corporate boardrooms. Swimsuits and shorts are common in a beach setting, while elegant dresses and tuxedos are normal attire at a formal dinner. Behavior will vary just as widely as apparel choices. Do you ever wonder: Does it really make any difference to God what we wear or how we act?

Actually, the Bible does have things to say about both our appearance and our conduct, and a thoughtful search of Scripture can refresh our minds regarding what the Lord expects of us as His people. Specifics of personal appearance are not talked about a great deal in the Bible, but enough is said to give us a general picture of what God wants His people to look like. Quite a bit is written about how we should conduct ourselves. It is interesting to notice how appearance and conduct seem to be intertwined in some of these instructions.

As a woman, I find specific instructions for my gender. Scripture tells us to dress modestly, and to conduct ourselves in a way that is fitting for a child of God. For example, in 1 Timothy 2:9, we are instructed to dress “in modest apparel” and not to adorn ourselves with things that attract undue attention to our outer appearance. Specifically, we are cautioned to avoid elaborate or extreme hairstyles, to choose clothes that are not extravagant, and not to rely on gold and jewels for personal adornment. The same thoughts are mentioned in 1 Peter 3:2-3, where Peter also mentions “chaste” behavior. This seems to indicate that body language also is a part of personal appearance.

Our culture is so saturated with immodesty that we must guard against becoming desensitized to it. What was once considered pornography is now openly displayed on magazine covers at the grocery checkout. In some circles, girls are taught to dress in a way that deliberately attracts masculine attention. Surrounded by these influences, we could easily miss the fact that today’s social norm violates the Biblical principal designed to protect women from improper scrutiny, and to protect a man from the temptation to lust.

As Christian women, it is important for us to understand that purity of conduct includes not knowingly placing temptation in the way of another person. Rather than choosing clothing and accessories that call attention to ourselves, we should choose to let our Christ-like actions and attitude be our adornment. Our outward appearance should be a reflection of inner holiness, a testimony of the “hidden man of the heart” (1 Peter 3:4).

The word translated modest in 1 Timothy 2:9 also means “having a quiet spirit, conducting oneself in an orderly manner, and dutifully performing personal responsibilities.” Modesty, therefore, is simply humility and holiness expressed in dress. Our wardrobes should express self-control, moderation, and restraint. What we wear should demonstrate that we live with a settled resistance to the ceaseless pull of the world. We want to dress to be a fitting representative of Christ—not to call attention to ourselves or impress our peers.

As we dress and conduct ourselves in this way, we show respect for ourselves and for the emotions of those who see us. Yes, a modest, conservative appearance and a careful, Christ-like attitude stand out—in a positive way. Though some people may initially find fault with this type of appearance and behavior, ultimately they tend to respect the one who behaves and dresses in such a way.

The principles of modesty and proper Christian conduct are pertinent for men also. In Titus 2:6, young men are instructed to be “sober minded” which means to be of a sound mind and moderate. Titus 2:2 tells us that older men should be “sober.” This does not mean that anyone over fifty should be somber and long-faced, but rather, that older men are to be an example of behavior that is circumspect or vigilant.

In Philippians 4:5, the instruction is given to “let your moderation be known unto all men.” The word moderation not only means “temperate,” but also, “appropriate, gentle, and patient.” The same thought is expressed in 1 Corinthians 9:25: “Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.” The admonition to be “temperate in all things” would include being temperate in attire, so extreme or gaudy apparel is not appropriate. Clothing that patterns after gang or cult attire by color or style is out of place for Christian men, whose allegiance is to God.

Sometimes those around us may try to influence us, directly or indirectly, to be or look like something other than a Christian. The media generally depicts a perspective of fashion and style that is entirely different from God’s point of view. However, if we claim to be Christians, the way that we dress and behave, (along with the rest of our lives), must be subject to the guidelines and control of the Holy Spirit, not to the persuasiveness of others or the impression that “everyone else” is doing or wearing it.

Sensitivity to the Spirit of God is necessary as we make decisions regarding our attire and conduct. God’s faithfulness in speaking to our hearts, and the counsel given in His Word, will help us be positive representatives of God and effective witnesses to the world of the difference God makes in a person’s life.

Godliness radiates from the true Christian. That should be our goal. Let us remember that we are His chosen, cherished Bride, and we should dress and behave in a way that will please Him and reflect His glory!


Dixie Matthews is a member of the Apostolic Faith Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota.