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IT IS A GREAT PRIVILEGE to preside over the marriage ceremony of a man and woman who desire to make a sacred and lifetime commitment to each other before God. In our society, many people regard marriage as little more than a temporary social agreement, but God’s Word makes it clear that marriage is of divine origin and is a holy and binding covenant.1 Therefore, as ministers of the Gospel and representatives of the Apostolic Faith organization, we want to do our best to ensure that each person taking the marriage vow does so with an understanding of the obligations he or she is undertaking.
As officiants who represent the Apostolic Faith organization, there are certain duties that we must fulfill in presiding over a wedding ceremony.
We must be sure that the marriage is right in the sight of God. Since marriage is a sacred institution originated by God himself, before we commit to performing a wedding ceremony we should be certain that the proposed union does not violate the law of God. This means that:
In addition to declining to officiate at ceremonies where there is a clear violation of God’s law, there are other circumstances where we do not feel it is appropriate for an Apostolic Faith minister to perform the ceremony. For example, we do not perform second marriages when there is a living spouse, even in cases where we believe the second marriage is a valid marriage in God’s eyes.2 Occasionally we will not feel clear about conducting a marriage ceremony even though the reasons are not as clearly defined. If we feel any hesitation about the advisability of a marriage, we should not allow ourselves to be persuaded to yield to the wishes of the couple and solemnize the marriage.
We must be sure that the marriage is in compliance with civil law. We do not perform any marriages which do not comply with the legal requirements for a valid marriage as prescribed by civil law. Before we commit to participating, we should acquaint ourselves with the laws of the state or country in which the marriage will take place.
As the officiant, we are responsible to:
We must be sure that our participation is in accordance with the following guidelines established for ministers of the Apostolic Faith organization.
We must be sure that the couple is prepared to accept the responsibilities of marriage to the best of our abilities. As ministers, we have a responsibility to evaluate the readiness of a couple for marriage. We do not marry a couple unless we have opportunity to meet with them for counseling several times over a period of at least two or three months.3 This gives us an opportunity to explore the couple’s personal goals and expectations for marriage, and to present them the counsel of the Lord with regard to the step they are about to take.
On occasion, we may be asked to perform a marriage ceremony for a couple about whom we have reservations. We must make such decisions on a case-by-case basis. Conditions that would require consideration include (but are not limited to): individuals who have previously lived together outside of marriage, individuals who have children from a prior relationship or from this relationship, premarital pregnancy, overall evidence of Biblical godliness prior to premarital counseling, or relationship issues between the prospective marriage partners prior to marriage. If we have questions about whether or not a proposed marriage is advisable, we should consult with the Superintendent General or our District Superintendent before making a commitment to officiate at the ceremony.
Once we feel clear in accepting the privilege of officiating at the marriage ceremony, our scheduled meetings with the couple should include making sure that all legal requirements for the ceremony have been met and reviewing with the couple our guidelines for weddings conducted in Apostolic Faith Churches (see below).
Our ability and preparedness as ministers to counsel with prospective couples to prepare them for marriage will vary. If we feel our expertise in this matter is limited, we may suggest helpful seminars, books, professional counselors, mentor couples, and/or other ways to facilitate the couples’ marriage preparation. There are well-researched principles that help couples build healthy marriages, and we should not hesitate to recommend resources that will help toward this goal.
Finally, we must be sure that the marriage ceremony and reception follows the guidelines for weddings in Apostolic Faith churches. As ministers, we will participate in weddings from time to time, but to the couple being married, the wedding is one of the most significant events of their lifetime. For this reason we want to do all we can to make the ceremony joyous, and yet sacred and dignified. All the words, music, and activities in the service are intended to reflect the divine dimension of a human act of commitment. There are a number of guidelines for weddings held in our churches that will help us accomplish this.
Apostolic Faith wedding ceremonies use the wedding vows included in this Minister’s Manual.4 The words of our wedding ceremonies have been carefully chosen to reflect the sacred nature of this event, and to establish the Biblical principles upon which a Christian marriage must be based. We do not allow the bride and groom to compose their own vows, rather than using ours. Couples who wish to personalize their wedding may do so by reciting a poem to each other, singing a special song, or including some other special tribute of their choosing.
Each minister should keep a record of marriages performed, with the names of the witnesses and other pertinent data, for future reference and for the records of the church itself.
1 For more information on the Biblical doctrine of marriage, see the section of this manual titled The Sanctity of Marriage.
2 An example of this would be a case when an individual desiring to marry was formerly married to someone who already had a living spouse. Although the Word of God does not prohibit that individual from marrying, (since the first union was not a right marriage in God’s sight), we would not perform the ceremony.
3 See the section of this manual titled Premarital Counseling.
4 See the section of this manual titled Ceremony Wording.
AS MINISTERS OF THE GOSPEL, we have a responsibility to present couples who plan to marry with the counsel of the Lord regarding the step they are about to take. The basis of Christian counseling is teaching how Biblical truth should be applied to our relationships with others. In a Christian marriage, two individuals enter into the most intimate and sacred relationship possible—aside from the decision to follow Christ, no other commitment will have as great an impact on their lives. It is our privilege to encourage them as they prepare for marriage.
Meeting with an engaged couple gives us an opportunity to personally direct them toward the basics of establishing a good and godly marriage. We should encourage them to make Jesus Christ not only their Savior, but also an integral part of their marriage—the third part of the threefold cord described in Ecclesiastes 4:12. A foundational Scripture on marriage is found in Genesis 2:24, “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh.” The principles of “leave, cleave, and weave [become one flesh]” form the basis for any scripturally successful marriage. Providing counsel with this concept at its core may well make the difference between a couple that seeks to put God’s principles first in their marriage, and one that bases their marriage on human viewpoints and worldly standards. Bible-based guidance and encouragement sowed early into a couple’s life can bear much fruit.
Preparing for the sessions
We must depend upon the Word of God and the inspiration of the Holy Spirit as we take up this task, for He has promised to be our Counselor and Guide. Following are several steps we can take to prepare for effective meetings with couples who are planning to marry.
Discuss the matter with fellow pastors. Those who have been pastoring for a number of years will be able to share techniques, resources, and methods that have worked for them.
Compile a resource list. There are many good books to recommend to couples who are contemplating marriage. Read through several, and make notes of what you like in each book. Some pastors have chosen a favorite, and presented it as an engagement gift to a couple at their first session. There are also Christian media presentations which may be helpful.
Do online research. Many Christian websites offer materials for Christian couples contemplating marriage. Focus on the Family is one such organization; there are many others.1 You will find good materials to augment what you plan to discuss with couples. Additionally, you may decide to refer couples to a site where they can access helpful material.
Start a file. Train yourself to download or copy and file sermons related to marriage, good articles you come across, notes from other pastors, Scriptures and thoughts that come to you in your personal Bible study, and observations about weddings you attend. Eventually, this file will be a great resource.
Put together a set of goals. These may include such items as:
Make a list of topics to cover in addressing the goals. Some suggestions are provided below, but you will want to adapt based on the needs of each individual couple. Research the Scriptural principles that apply to each topic, and note pertinent verses, remembering that our role as pastor is to present what the Bible has to say—not to provide therapeutic counsel.
Develop a set of questions to incorporate into your sessions. Some introductory questions are provided in this section, but you may wish to adapt or add to the list. Some pastors request that the couples answer the questions independently, and turn in their answers. Comparing the two sets of responses can help you know what aspects to emphasize in your sessions.
Outline the meetings. Determine how many sessions will be needed and what you will cover in each meeting. Make notes of what will be required of the couple for each session.
As we plan specific sessions, it is important to remember that we must be flexible in our approach. Couples will come to us with all levels of spiritual maturity and a variety of needs. Their personal backgrounds and life experiences will differ. Challenges that are evident and must be addressed in one case may be non-issues for the next couple we deal with. For these reasons, the length and number of sessions, the goals we attempt to reach with each couple, and the techniques or resources we use to meet those goals will vary. We should also be prepared to adapt content as our sessions progress, and concerns or potential issues arise.
Determining the number of sessions
Good premarital education cannot be packed into a one week or one day period. Time is needed for the participating individuals to process the guidelines and principles we review with them. In the Apostolic Faith organization, we typically do not marry a couple unless we have opportunity to meet with them a number of times over a period of some months. If the couple has a solid spiritual foundation and the basic principles of an effective marriage only need some reinforcement, a few sessions may be sufficient. For couples who face challenges in their relationship, or have deeper issues to contend with, the process will take longer.3 It is unwise to permit a couple to rush through the process or eliminate it entirely unless there clearly are extenuating circumstances.4 In such cases, we should arrange to meet with the two of them after the wedding ceremony has taken place.
Identifying topics to address
Many of the topics we take up in meeting with engaged couples will revolve around the roles, relationships, and responsibilities in a Christian marriage. Most of them should relate directly to the goals established for your sessions.
Potential topics include:
Encouraging discussion through questions
The following questions should provide a springboard for discussion of some of the issues that a couple should address together. We also could consider assigning some of these questions to the couple for discussion outside of our presence.5
Many couples do not discuss these issues until after the wedding. However, we should encourage the couples we counsel with to discuss their expectations thoroughly, and as early as possible in their engagement. By talking about their personal viewpoints and perspectives early on, they will be alerted to potential pitfalls and learn how to avoid them.
In conclusion, we want to take a solidly Biblical approach to guiding couples who are approaching marriage, incorporating basic principles regarding how to build an effective marriage without drifting from our Scriptural foundation and our faith in an all-sufficient Christ. If the following principles are incorporated into the couple’s marriage, they will be well-equipped to face the blessings and challenges of married life.
AT TIMES, we may be asked to perform a wedding ceremony for a close friend or family member who lives some distance away, or for a member of our immediate family. In these cases, it may be an option to suggest that another pastor in the Apostolic Faith organization undertake the counseling of the couple.
1 Some possibilities are included on the list of website resources offered on the Ministers Page of our website at www.apostolicfaith.org.
2 Refer to the section of this manual entitled The Sanctity of Marriage for more information on this topic.
3 It is important for us to weigh how much time we can invest in a couple and still maintain our other personal and pastoral responsibilities. If an initial session or two reveals that a particular couple has serious issues, we may feel led to recommend that they see a professional counselor, or attend a conference designed to help engaged couples before a marriage date is set and our sessions with them resume.
4 Examples could be military deployment, or family circumstances that necessitate a short engagement.
5 While we want to encourage couples to communicate with each other about important matters that could affect the wellbeing of their marriage, care must be taken not to intrude on the exclusive bond between the two of them by pressing for answers that should be private.
AT THE OUTSET of His ministry, Jesus attended and took part in the wedding at Cana of Galilee, choosing that occasion to perform His first miracle. Since Jesus considered weddings to be significant, it should be our desire to make every wedding we participate in a memorable and sacred event for the couple involved. This requires careful planning and adequate preparation. While most details will be the responsibility of the couple, we do have a role as well.
Most importantly, when we meet with couples planning to be married, we need to discuss with them the logistical details related to holding a wedding in the church. If our church has an appointed wedding coordinator, we should provide that individual’s contact information to the couple at the outset of our sessions, so they can arrange a meeting with her. If there is no official church wedding coordinator, it will be our responsibility as officiating minister to acquaint the bride and groom with the requirements for use of the church facility. We should provide the couple with a list of guidelines, costs, and contact information for necessary individuals. Some of the points to cover in that list may include:
A short time before the wedding itself, it is advisable to gather everyone involved in the ceremony for a rehearsal and walk-through. If a wedding coordinator is involved, that individual will direct the rehearsal, though it is the officiating minister’s responsibility to provide instructions for the vow portion of the ceremony. If no coordinator is involved, the pastor’s wife or some other qualified woman in the congregation may be asked to assist. That individual can then direct both the rehearsal and the wedding itself, as we will not be able to do so on the day of the event due to our responsibilities as the officiant. We should instruct those in the wedding party and others present at the rehearsal to address any questions to the coordinator, rather than to the bride.
We should begin the rehearsal with prayer. Typically, the coordinator then positions everyone where they will stand during the ceremony itself, rehearses the procedure for the processional and recessional, acquaints the bridal party with the order of the ceremony, gives specific instructions and assigns responsibilities to the bridal party and others involved, works through arrangements with musicians and audio/visual technicians, and then directs a walk-through of the event. The main goal is to familiarize everyone involved with what will happen so that the ceremony proceeds smoothly on the actual day of the wedding.
During the rehearsal, we stop just before the part of the ceremony where the couple would take their vows. At that point, we merely explain to the couple what will happen next, making sure when and how they should respond verbally during the actual ceremony.
The wedding rehearsal should be a pleasant adjunct to the actual wedding event. We should do our best to make the rehearsal as stress-free and smooth as possible, in keeping with the sacredness of the actual ceremony, though more relaxed.
THE WORD WED is derived from the ancient Greek word for pledge. No matter what country the wedding ceremony takes place in, and no matter what cultural traditions are involved, to “wed” is to pledge oneself to another. There are few acts we perform as ministers that are more sacred or more beautiful than solemnizing the vows a man and woman take before God and their family and friends.
In Apostolic Faith churches in the United States, the wedding ceremony itself typically follows the order given below, although the sequence can be adjusted to fit with the preference of the couple. In areas outside of the United States, weddings will likely follow at least to some degree the customs of the region. Christian weddings worldwide should always align with Biblical principles and the sacred nature of this ceremony. As officiating ministers, part of our role will be to ensure that all aspects of a wedding at which we preside are suitable and in keeping with a worship service centering on vows taken before God.
Order of the Wedding Ceremony
Thirty to forty-five minutes before the wedding begins, music is played softly by the organist or pianist. Ushers greet and seat guests as they arrive. At the scheduled time, the ceremony begins.
Although we cannot address every potential variation in how the wedding ceremony could be structured, a few additional notes regarding may be helpful.
The minister, followed by the groom and his best man, enter and take their positions before the beginning of the wedding march. The best man always stands next to the bridegroom. The other groomsmen may follow the groom and best man, or they may escort the bridesmaids into the sanctuary. The men should face the door where the bride’s attendants and then the bride will enter.
When the wedding party has assembled at the front of the sanctuary, the wedding march or some type of musical fanfare usually indicates the entrance of the bride. The mother of the bride stands to her feet, signaling the guests present to stand as well. The bride enters the sanctuary holding the left arm of her father or other chosen relative (if she is to be given away) and moves slowly down the aisle to the front. Once they are in position, the officiating minister tells the audience, “You may be seated.”
The bride and bridegroom face the minister with the groom on the right of the bride. The maid of honor stands to the bride’s left, the best man to the groom’s right, and the entire bridal party remains standing until the end of the ceremony. During the actual vow portion of the ceremony, often the bride and groom turn and face each other.
If the bride is to be given away, the minister addresses the father or the person chosen to bestow the bride, asking, “Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?” That individual responds, and places the bride’s right hand in the right hand of the groom; he then takes a seat with the rest of the family. (If the bride is not given away, her escort may take his seat immediately after walking her to the front.) If the bride does not have an escort down the aisle, she simply steps to the side of the groom when she reaches the front of the sanctuary, and the groom takes her right hand with his right hand.
At this point in the ceremony, the minister and bride and groom may step up to the platform of the sanctuary. If there is room, they may be followed by the maid/matron-of-honor and the best man; alternatively the maid/matron of honor and best man simply stay in position with the rest of the bridal party.
The officiating minister may begin by making some personal remarks about the couple, focusing on their commitment to God and to each other. He then proceeds with the wedding ceremony, beginning with the phrase, “We are gathered here to join this couple in holy matrimony.”1
If a unity candle is to be lit during the ceremony, the couple usually does this after the exchange of vows, while a musical number is presented by a vocalist or instrumentalist. At the completion of the candle lighting, the bride and groom resume their positions in front of the minister. When the musical number concludes, the minister prays the prayer of blessing for the new couple.
If questions of correct procedure come up, the minister or wedding coordinator can consult any reliable book on marriage etiquette for answers.
AS OFFICIANTS at wedding ceremonies, we should be aware of the fact that brides and grooms are nervous. The same may be true for members of the bridal party. Fainting is not unheard of. Flowers are sometimes dropped, and vows may be misstated. Participants may forget what they are supposed to do, or do something at the wrong time. Officiating ministers need to be prepared to respond to stressful situations in a calm and professional manner. It may be advisable to give some thought ahead of time how potential emergencies would be handled. For example, you may wish to arrange with the coordinator to have a stool or chair close by in case someone is shaky. Groomsmen can be alerted to quietly assist anyone who feels faint or needs to leave the sanctuary. As the minister in charge, we should be prepared to take control of any situation of this order and quickly issue instructions in order to minimize confusion. A quiet word of greeting and assurance to the bride and groom at the altar can help them relax.
1 See the section of this manual titled Ceremony Wording for the precise wording of a wedding ceremony.
THE COUPLE to be united in marriage faces the minister with the groom on the right of the bride.
If the bride is to be given away, the minister addresses the father or the person chosen to bestow the bride, asking, “Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?” That individual responds in the affirmative, usually saying one of three options: “I do” (if he alone is giving the bride away), “Her mother and I” (if there are two living parents), or “On behalf of her family, I do” (if he is escorting the bride as a family representative). He then places the bride’s right hand in the right hand of the groom, and takes his seat.
There are two options for wedding ceremonies in Apostolic Faith Churches. In option one, the bride and groom assent to their vows with “I do.” In option two, the bride and groom repeat their vows.
In either case, the minister may choose to begin the ceremony with a few personal remarks focusing on the couple’s commitment to God and each other. He then begins the introductory comments which precede the vows.
Introductory Comments
We are gathered here to join this couple in holy matrimony. Since we know that Almighty God is the author of the institution of marriage—that by His word this holy relationship between man and wife was brought into existence—we do not hesitate to proceed according to the instructions given us in His Holy Bible and in accordance with the laws of our civil state.
Obedience to the law of God always brings blessing, even though we may be in temporal adversity and sorrow. Disobedience brings the displeasure of God, even in times of seeming prosperity and happiness. Therefore, our conduct before each other, either as husbands, wives, or unmarried individuals, must be regulated by God’s law if we are to enjoy the supreme blessing of God upon our lives while we live here on earth.
Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, also sanctioned the institution of marriage by attending and taking part in the marriage at Cana of Galilee. He further gave His approval to marriage, reminding us of some of its obligations and privileges, when He said, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.”
The Holy Spirit has also blessed marriage, and has used its bond of love as an illustration of the much closer tie that binds the Church of Christ to its Bridegroom and Master, Jesus Christ. Speaking through the Apostle Paul and terming it one of the great mysteries of our life on earth, the Holy Spirit said, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” and, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies . . . For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church; for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.”
Vows Option One: Assent by “I Do”
The minister then turns to the groom and says:
_______________ (bridegroom’s full name), do you take this woman, whose right hand you now hold, to be your lawfully wedded wife; and solemnly promise, God helping you, that you will be a true and devoted husband to her, that you will love, honor, cherish, and protect her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that you will keep yourself to her, and to her alone, until God by death shall separate you?
The man will answer: “I do.”
Turning to the bride, the minister says:
_______________ (bride’s full name), do you take this man whose right hand you now hold, to be your lawfully wedded husband; and solemnly promise, God helping you, that you will be a true and devoted wife to him, that you will love, honor, cherish, and comfort him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that you will keep yourself to him, and to him alone, until God by death shall separate you?
The woman will answer: “I do.”
Vows Option Two: Assent by Repeating Vows
The minister turns to the groom and says:
______________ (first name of bridegroom), do you promise to keep the vows you are about to make?
The groom will answer: “I do.”
Please repeat after me. (Say the vows one phrase at a time, giving the groom time to repeat each one.)
I, _______________ (groom’s full name) take you, _______________ (bride’s full name), to be my lawfully wedded wife; and solemnly promise, God helping me, that I will be a true and devoted husband to you, that I will love, honor, cherish, and protect you, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that I will keep myself to you, and to you alone, until God by death shall separate us.
Turning to the bride, the minister says:
______________ (first name of bride), do you promise to keep the vows you are about to make?
The bride will answer: “I do.”
Please repeat after me. (Say the vows one phrase at a time, giving the bride time to repeat each one.)
I, _______________ (bride’s full name) take you, _______________ (groom’s full name), to be my lawfully wedded husband; and solemnly promise, God helping me, that I will be a true and devoted wife to you, that I will love, honor, cherish, and comfort you, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that I will keep myself to you, and to you alone, until God by death shall separate us.
Pronouncement of Marriage
The minister then addresses everyone present, saying:
Inasmuch, then, as _______________ (bridegroom’s full name) and_______________ (bride’s full name) have both signified their desire to be joined together in the holy bond of matrimony, have borne witness of this fact before God and this company, and have pledged their fidelity and love each to the other, I, by the virtue of the authority vested in me as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and by the laws of the State of __________ now pronounce them husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
The minister then offers a prayer invoking God’s blessing upon the newly married couple.
IN THE UNITED STATES, a reception typically follows the wedding ceremony itself, in which the bride and groom greet their guests and accept congratulations. In Apostolic Faith weddings, the reception may be held in the church, if a suitable gathering place is available, or at another nearby location.
Receptions in our churches, though celebratory in nature, still should be appropriate for a Christian setting. If we are the pastor of the couple involved, or they are being married in the church where we pastor, we should make sure they know that since they are entering into a Christian marriage, there should be no alcohol, smoking, dancing, or inappropriate remarks at the wedding reception. Though a joyous occasion, every attempt should be made to ensure that the reception is in good taste for a group of Christians who have just taken part in a sacred ceremony.
As officiants, we should attend the wedding reception, but our official duties in terms of the event conclude with the benediction prayer at the wedding ceremony itself, unless we have been asked to participate in the reception.
The reception should be coordinated by a church-appointed wedding coordinator, hostess, or close friend of the bride. Our final remaining responsibility as officiates will be to complete the wedding license. After the wedding, we should file the necessary documents with the vital records authorities, and make copies of the documentation, giving one to the couple and keeping one for our own files.
A MARRIAGE VOW RENEWAL SERVICE can be a meaningful, sacred ceremony for a couple, their family, and friends. It offers a time for the couple to pause and reflect on the nature of their shared commitment, and once more pledge their lives to each other before God. Events of this nature can also be very moving for those who attend. Watching their parents join hands and hearts in an affirmation of their enduring love provides a beautiful example for the couple’s children and grandchildren. As a minister, it is a privilege to take part in such a ceremony.
A vow renewal ceremony can occur any time after the original wedding ceremony. Some couples choose to plan the event on a special anniversary, such as the tenth, twenty-fifth, or fiftieth. At times, these ceremonies are held in the church, and when this is the case, many of the guidelines for wedding ceremonies would apply. However, since the couple is already married, there are several differences between a vow renewal ceremony and a wedding. Following are some of the points to consider:
The service itself is typically structured quite similarly to a wedding. Following is a possible way that the traditional marriage ceremony could be adapted for a vow renewal ceremony.
The couple renewing their vows, along with their attendants, should take their places before the minister. The husband stands on the minister’s left and the wife on the minister’s right. The minister then says:
We are gathered here today to witness the renewing of the vows that this couple made to one another in ____ (year of the initial marriage ceremony) when the two of them were united in holy matrimony. Since we know that Almighty God is the author of the institution of marriage—that by His word this holy relationship between man and wife was brought into existence—we do not hesitate to proceed in a renewal of the lifetime commitment that ______________(name of wife) and ___________ (name of husband) made to one another _____________years ago.
Obedience to the law of God always brings blessing, even though we may be in temporal adversity and sorrow. Disobedience brings the displeasure of God, even in times of seeming prosperity and happiness. Therefore, our conduct before each other, either as husbands, wives, or unmarried individuals, must be regulated by God’s law if we are to enjoy the supreme blessing of God upon our lives while we live here on earth.
Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, also sanctioned the institution of marriage by attending and taking part in the marriage at Cana of Galilee. He further gave His approval to marriage, reminding us of some of its obligations and privileges, when He said, “For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh.”
The Holy Spirit has also blessed marriage, and has used its bond of love as an illustration of the much closer tie that binds the Church of Christ to its Bridegroom and Master, Jesus Christ. Speaking through the Apostle Paul and terming it one of the great mysteries of our life on earth, the Holy Spirit said, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord” and, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it . . . So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies . . . For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.”
The minister then addresses the couple, saying:
And now, since it is your purpose to recommit to your vows of holy wedlock, you will signify this intention by joining your right hands.
The couple joins hands. Turning to the man, the minister says:
_______________ (husband’s full name), do you confirm your commitment to this woman, whose right hand you now hold; and solemnly promise, God helping you, that you will be a true and devoted husband to her, that you will love, honor, cherish, and protect her, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that you will keep yourself to her, and to her alone, until God by death shall separate you?
The man will then answer:
I do.
Turning to the woman, the minister will then say:
_______________ (wife’s full name), do you confirm your commitment to this man, whose right hand you now hold; and solemnly promise, God helping you, that you will be a true and devoted wife to him, that you will love, honor, cherish, and comfort him, in sickness and in health, in sorrow and in joy, in adversity and in prosperity; and that you will keep yourself to him, and to him alone, until God by death shall separate you?
The woman will then answer:
I do.
The minister then addresses himself to all present and says:
Inasmuch, then, as _______________ (husband’s full name) and_______________ (wife’s full name) have both signified the renewal of their commitment to the holy bond of matrimony, have borne witness of this fact before God and this company, and have once again pledged their fidelity and love each to the other, I, by the virtue of the authority vested in me as a minister of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, pronounce God’s continued blessing upon them as husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Let us pray.
The minister then offers a prayer invoking God’s blessing upon the couple and closes with a benediction upon all present.
A vow renewal ceremony is a wonderful way to reaffirm a couple’s love and commitment to each other before family and friends. The ceremony not only can strengthen the marriage bonds, but it also is a testimony and example of the enduring blessing of marriage vows taken before God.
DIVORCE WAS NEVER part of God’s plan.1 However, believers are not immune to marriage problems, and there are times when a Christian’s marriage ends despite his or her attempts to avoid that outcome.2 For that reason, in all likelihood there will be individuals in our congregations who are no longer living as married people because they have been separated or divorced from their spouse.3
As ministers of the Gospel, we have a responsibility toward these individuals. Our first goal would be to reconcile the divorced or separated couple if possible.4 If reconciliation is not achieved, we should assure them that while relationships and circumstances within their family have changed, God’s love toward them is ever present and does not end. The pain which results from the loss of a relationship is great and deep-seated, and the individual may also be dealing with resentment, guilt, and depression. In addition, like a widowed person, a divorced man or woman often must make financial, housing, and employment adjustments. We should do our best to offer support and encouragement to those who face these challenges, especially as they work through the initial adjustment period.
In reality, the dissolution of a marriage impacts more than just the two individuals. Like pebbles tossed into a still pond, the ripples are far-reaching. If there were children, they will need to adjust to living in the home without one of their parents. Parents, siblings, and even friends of the couple will all be affected. They all need support and care, and as pastors, our compassion must reach out and encompass them.
While we do not organize special support groups for divorcees within our church, we must lead the way in ministering to divorce-linked grief, and encourage the family of God to join us in providing a safe, loving, and supportive environment for those going through it. Caring pastors and committed laypeople alike are called to respond to the challenge, “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ (Galatians 6:2). The author of the Book of Romans put it this way: “We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves” (Romans 15:1). While the devastation of divorce is very real, the loving, practical care of God’s people can go a long way toward mitigating the pain and encouraging the individuals who experience it.
As pastors, we must prepare ourselves to respond Biblically to the questions that one suffering as a result of a broken marriage may ask, such as: Where is God in all of this? Does He still care about me? I took my vows seriously, so why has this happened? How can I teach and support my children when I feel so hurt and abandoned? How can I get over the resentment and forgive my spouse?
As we minister to divorced people, there are steps we can suggest that will help them adjust to their new circumstances and access the help of the Lord.
Our role as pastors and ministers is to point those who are grappling with the dissolution of their marriage to the comfort found in God. He loves them with a love that will never let them go, and has promised to provide all that they need to fulfill His purposes for them. In response to God’s unending love, they can surrender their pain to Him, and ask Him to make their lives richer and fuller for Him as a result of what they are going through.
1 See the section of this manual titled The Sanctity of Marriage for more on this topic.
2 While divorce is not God’s intention for marriage, there are situations where legal separation may be advisable for protection. Some examples of such cases include:
3 Scripture is clear that when a believer has been divorced, that one must remain single and celibate as long as their spouse lives, or else be reconciled. However, today’s religious world is moving farther and farther away from this Biblical position. As recently as the middle of the twentieth century, adherence to the Scriptures on this subject was quite universal. In spite of the trend of our day to allow remarriage of divorced individuals, we must uphold the teachings of God’s Word, which establishes that marriage is a lifelong contract. Paul’s statement to the church in Corinth, “But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases” (1 Corinthians 7:15) does not free one from the marriage vow; the Apostle was simply saying that the believer was not obligated to sustain the marriage if an unbelieving spouse was determined to leave. Further on in the same chapter, he states, “The wife is bound by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be married to whom she will; only in the Lord (1 Corinthians 7:39). Luke 16:18 clearly indicates that remarriage after divorce is adultery: “Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.”
4 We should be aware that the Christian partner is not obligated to reconcile with a spouse who is violent or abusive, or the circumstances described in footnote two are present.
ONE OF THE PRIMARY PURPOSES of the Apostolic Faith organization since our inception has been to lead men and women to the place of repentance and forgiveness for sin, and to an understanding of the Latter Rain Gospel. This necessitates being alert to opportunities to expand our outreach into new fields.
Typically, establishing a church in a new area begins with interest expressed in our organization. The initial contact may have occurred when an individual or group received Gospel literature printed by the Apostolic Faith, visited our church website, or had a personal contact with someone connected to this work. Often, there is a period of correspondence with headquarters, in which the Biblical doctrines and practices upheld by this organization are explained in greater detail. Gradually, this correspondence provides insight about the group’s understanding of our doctrinal position and its willingness to follow the practices and guidelines of the Apostolic Faith work. In time, this may lead to a visit from a representative of headquarters, at which time the possibility of the group becoming a part of the organization may be explored as the Spirit leads.
In a case where a group of associated groups or church congregations has expressed interest in becoming a part of the Apostolic Faith, it may take a number of visits from a headquarters representative before we can be assured that they are all one with us in doctrine and are willing to adopt our methods of operation. This Minister’s Manual may serve as a basis for explaining in detail what we stand for and how we operate. Leaders of the congregations can also be encouraged to view the services posted on our organization’s website as a means of gaining understanding about how we conduct our services.
Meetings in Homes and Temporary Facilities
Many Apostolic Faith branch churches started from gatherings of believers in private homes. We encourage this method, especially in locations where there are only a few believers. Holding Bible studies, prayer meetings, or even simple church services in a home, and inviting neighbors, friends, and relatives to attend, is in accord with the pattern established in Scripture. Members of the Early Church taught the Gospel in private homes as well as in larger assemblies.<sup>1<sup> In some towns, private homes served as meeting places for smaller churches,<sup>2<sup> while at other times, groups simply gathered in a home. According to Acts 10, it was in one such meeting in the home of the Roman centurion Cornelius that God revealed to Peter that the Gospel message was for all who would believe in Jesus Christ.
Obviously, any home meetings held under the auspices of the Apostolic Faith organization must uphold the doctrines and practices of this organization, and operate under the supervision of the nearest District Superintendent.
Church services in homes usually are quite simple. Sometimes they are structured along the lines of a Sunday school class or informal Bible study. If there are enough people present, the program may consist of singing, perhaps a testimony or two, Bible reading, a brief message, and a time of prayer. In some cases, small groups have found that watching services on the corporate website at www.apostolicfaith.org/video-archive can be a real blessing and uplift. Workers from an Apostolic Faith branch church can also go, whenever that is possible, to support the efforts of those holding meetings in areas where there is no established church as yet.
If space constraints permit, those who attend home meetings should be encouraged to invite others who might be interested in gathering with the group of believers. If the numbers grow and a solid foundation of workers develops, it may be possible in time to secure a larger facility where Gospel services could be held.
Most new churches meet at least for a time in rented facilities such as schools, hotel conference rooms, or community centers. Though the meeting location is temporary, those in charge should make every effort to create a warm and inviting environment. The facility should be clean, provide comfortable seating and adequate parking, and be equipped with a suitable sound system. Signage directing visitors to the meeting area, along with flowers and a display of Gospel literature, can help to create a friendly atmosphere. The goal should be to make visitors feel welcome and encourage them to come again.
Evangelistic programs/outreaches
Conducting evangelistic campaigns is another form of outreach into a new field that has brought fruitful results in the Apostolic Faith organization. Typically, we hold campaigns of this nature to ascertain whether there is interest or potential for developing a work in a particular location. In years past, churches of a neighborhood or community nature occasionally have opened their doors to us. However, we have found that it is often best to conduct our campaigns in rented conference rooms or other community facilities, in order to avoid restrictions on our preaching or manner of worship.
A well-organized evangelistic campaign will have at least five major components:
Expansion into new fields takes far more than simply seeing opportunities. We must be certain that our timing and the steps we take toward evangelizing and/or establishing a work in a new location do not get ahead of God. Wherever God guides, He provides. Ultimately, the work will grow and expand according to local response in any given area, and God’s sovereign will. If He wants us to move forward, He will open the doors, and we must always align ourselves with His purpose and timing. When we do, a small seed sown in good soil and watered with prayer can result in a bountiful spiritual harvest for God’s kingdom.
IT IS IMPORTANT for us to remember that while growth is the natural state of a healthy organism, there are different kinds of growth, some of which have nothing to do with numbers. A church can be alive and growing spiritually even though the number of people attending remains constant. If those in the church are growing “in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18), and following His will for their lives, both individually and corporately, that church is experiencing true growth. Conversely, a church can see its numbers increase, and still be spiritually lifeless. While expansion is important and we should always be alert for outreach opportunities, numerical increase in our numbers is not our primary goal.
WE HAVE FOUND that entire sanctification and the sanctity of marriage are two doctrinal teachings that we must explore especially carefully and thoroughly with those who express an interest in becoming a part of the Apostolic Faith work. It is necessary to be certain that we are unified in understanding, as some people who generally agree with our teachings have a slightly or totally different view of these two doctrines.
1 See Acts 5:42 and 20:20.
2 See Romans 16:5, 1 Corinthians 16:19, and Philemon 1:2.
IT IS BIBLICAL for the church to set apart individuals in the ministry for special tasks of leadership.1 In the Apostolic Faith organization this is done through ordination and/or installation. Ordination Services and Installation Services are handled in a similar manner.
Ordination Services
Ordination is the public ceremony by which leaders of the church authorize a minister to serve as a pastor or other designated role in the Apostolic Faith work.2 While ordination does vest in that individual the legal authority to perform certain civil duties and conduct business as a representative of the organization, we view the event primarily as a solemn, spiritual charge and commissioning as much as a legal or liturgical rite. It is important as an acknowledgement of the prior divine call, commission, and qualification of the person, though it is not a requirement for serving as a minister.3
In the Apostolic Faith organization, we typically hold ordinations during a regular church service or during an ordinance service. At the appointed time during the meeting, the Superintendent General or the District Superintendent presiding over the ordination ceremony announces to the congregation that the designated minister is to be ordained at that time. Often, he gives a brief explanation of the Scriptural purpose and basis for ordination. Then, in accordance with examples provided in the Word of God,4 members of the ministry and elders lay their hands on the minister, and pray together for divine anointing upon him or her.5 Those who are present join in prayer that God’s blessing will rest upon the life and service of the one being ordained.
We believe that it is the Holy Spirit who confers authority and power for ministry, rather than those who participate in the ordination ceremony. No particular person or group of individuals is essential to the ordination process; it can be done by any minister or ministers who have been granted permission to do so by the leadership of the Apostolic Faith organization.
Installation Services
Installation is similar to ordination in that it is a public ceremony by which leaders in the Apostolic Faith organization appoint a minister to a designated leadership role in our work. The main difference is that an installation does not include legally-issued credentials or certification; rather, it represents a corporate appointment or designation within the organizational structure of the Apostolic Faith. Often, installation appointments relate to supervision of geographic districts where our churches are located, or serving on a Board of Trustees.
In some countries or regions of the Apostolic Faith work, installation services are held for pastors, though this is not required when a minister assumes a pastoral role. At the headquarters church, installation services relate specifically to the appointment of District Superintendents.
The service itself is generally conducted much like an ordination, by the laying on of hands by qualified ministers and elders.
In the United States, the credentials and authorization of both ordained and installed pastors can be revoked at any time by the Superintendent General if the minister’s faith and practice fail to align to the Gospel of Christ, or cease to be in accordance with the doctrines, constitution, and bylaws of the Apostolic Faith organization. In countries outside of the United States, the District Superintendent is authorized to do this.
1 See Acts 1:21-26; 6:1-6; 13:2-3.
2 See the topic Ministerial Credentials and Ordination for more information on this subject.
3 In some cases, individuals in our work have assumed the role of pastor because a sudden vacancy in the pastoral ranks necessitated immediate placement of a minister in a particular location. In those cases, unless the pastoral assignment is designated as being only temporary, the acting pastor may be ordained at a time of the District Superintendent’s choosing. During the interim, he is allowed to perform all of the functions of a pastor except those for which the State requires an ordained minister.
4 See 1 Timothy 4:14 and 2 Timothy 1:6.
5 In light of the Biblical role of women in the church, the Apostolic Faith organization makes no distinction between men and women in the work of the ministry. Godly women who give evidence of the call of God upon their lives, and who qualify spiritually, are accorded the same privileges as men to labor in the ministry. See the topic Women Preachers for more information on this subject.
MINISTERS MEETINGS are regularly scheduled events in the Apostolic Faith organization. At these sessions, those who serve as ministers and pastors in our work gather to study topics relevant to our ministerial responsibilities, and to hone our abilities through structured training, that we may be “able ministers of the new testament” (2 Corinthians 3:6).
At the headquarters church in Portland, ministers meetings are held every year during the spring special meetings and the summer camp meeting. All ministers and pastors, both active and retired, are encouraged to attend. These times remind us that we are not serving in isolation, no matter what our geographic location or proximity to other Apostolic Faith churches. Rather, we are part of a divinely ordained and God-commissioned group, and we approach the responsibilities of our calling shoulder to shoulder with fellow ministers from around the world. As we share plans and goals and learn together, we come away feeling better equipped and inspired to putting our best efforts into moving the Gospel forward.<sup>1<sup>
In addition to the sessions held during special meetings and camp meeting, the ministerial staff in Portland meets from time to time throughout the year. Ministers meetings are also held during regional camp meetings and at district meetings, and should be held in individual churches where there are several on the local ministerial staff. Even if there are only two or three ministers at a given location, it is a good plan to meet occasionally to discuss ideas, plans, and details of the work.
Godly counsel is of particular benefit to those of us in the ministry. We need one another! Often the issues which face us cannot be shared with our families or the flock of God, but Scripture records numerous examples of spiritual leaders who conferred with each other regarding matters affecting the church. For example, the disciples discussed with elders of the early church the appointment of deacons to care for the widows (Acts 6), the prophets and teachers at Antioch sought God’s direction together until the Spirit revealed that Barnabas and Saul were to be sent out as missionaries (Acts 13), and the apostles and elders in Jerusalem came together to confer about the danger of reverting to the law of Moses (Acts 15).
All of us can learn from the experiences of others. When we face challenges in our work for the Lord, those challenges are not unique—very likely some of our peers have been through similar circumstances. Older ministers can offer insights and perspective based upon years of experience in the Gospel. Proverbs 27:17 tells us that “Iron sharpens iron,” and the guidance and advice of seasoned Gospel veterans is an invaluable resource. Ministers meetings are one venue where we can tap into that experience.
The ministers meetings held in Portland during special meetings and camp meeting have an annual theme. Over the years, these themes have included: Higher Ground, Sharing God’s Love, Follow Me, Hold the Fort, America’s Mission Field, Lessons in Leadership, The Art of Preaching, God Gave the Increase, and Equipped to Serve. Individual sessions under these headings have developed topics such as evangelism, helping troubled people, marriage and family issues, financial planning, enduring hardness, ministerial protocol, holding funerals, and a wide range of other topics. Various ministers are selected to act as facilitators/speakers for the sessions. In many cases, handouts and topic summaries are distributed to attendees. Transcripts and videos of these sessions are posted on the minister’s page of the website at www.apostolicfaith.org.
In conclusion, the benefit of gathering together as ministers is much more than information shared or techniques we learn. An additional benefit comes in the cultivating of our unity of purpose. We are persuaded that this work has a unique calling in the world, and that the teachings and way of life the Latter Rain Gospel advocates are relevant today. Ministers meetings help us to keep moving forward with a unified purpose. Unity is not a goal that can be achieved once and then relegated to the sidelines for a number of years. It requires a constant process of communicating, adapting, evaluating, and learning. To walk in unity, we must have a shared understanding of how we operate, and ministers meetings are one of the ways we achieve this.
<sup2>1<sup2> For more information regarding interaction between pastors and ministers, see the section of this manual titled Relationships with Other Ministers.
THOSE OF US who serve as pastors in the Apostolic Faith organization occasionally hold meetings specifically for the people of God who are part of our church. We refer to these gatherings as “Workers Meetings.” At times, we open such meetings to all who are involved in any capacity in the work of the Lord. In other circumstances, we invite only a particular group, such as the ushers, Sunday school teachers, or musicians. While our workers meetings may include instruction and challenge, our goal always should be to uplift, appreciate, and inspire our companions in ministry, remembering that we are all “labourers together with God” (1 Corinthians 3:9).<sup>1<sup>
Workers meetings are held for a variety of purposes.
Plan. When the local church undertakes a construction project, seasonal program, or community outreach, planning must occur. We often gather small groups of individuals from the church family who have appropriate skills or backgrounds, and work with them to establish direction, discuss implementation, assign tasks, and track progress, for Scripture tells us, “Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counselors they are established” (Proverbs 15:22).
Through the years, workers meetings have sometimes been held to discuss the purchase of a piece of property, securing of a different facility, refurbishing the sanctuary, or other business matters. We recommend using ordinance meetings as a time to accomplish this.
Inform. Those who are involved in the work obviously have an interest in the forward movement of the Gospel, so it is appropriate to bring them up-to-date occasionally on what has been happening in other locations around the world. Presentations related to a newly-emerging branch of the international work, the outreach at headquarters, or a particular missionary trip goal has proved to be a blessing and inspiration to the people of God. We have found that the more the people of God are informed about a particular outreach, the more wholeheartedly they will support it.
Encourage. Challenges come to every congregation. In such times, we may feel a need to gather those who carry the burden of the work and do what we can to encourage hearts. There are many Scriptural precedents for this. When the Children of Israel faced the Red Sea, Moses reassured them, “Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord” (Exodus 14:13). On the eve of crossing over into Canaan, Joshua encouraged the people that God “will without fail drive out from before you the Canaanites, and the Hittites, and the Hivites, and the Perizzites, and the Girgashites, and the Amorites, and the Jebusites” (Joshua 3:10). The Apostle Paul’s letters often included words of support to his fellow workers. Encouragement has strengthened many an individual and group to overcome hard places.
Equip. As pastors, we have a responsibility to facilitate the efforts of the workers in the church. Meetings with groups such as Sunday school teachers, custodial staff, greeters, and musicians will help us understand their challenges and respond to their needs as God directs. In the spiritual realm, workers meetings offer a setting where we can teach and equip those involved in the work to be good altar workers, to give a strong testimony, to be friendly and welcoming to visitors, and other “family matters” of this nature.
Admonish. The New Testament is full of admonitions given by the Apostles to various groups in the Early Church. Peter taught, “All of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble” (1 Peter 5:5). Paul exhorted believers in Philippi to “stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27), and instructed the Ephesian church to “keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3). We too have a charge to “reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine” (2 Timothy 4:2). Admonitions given in a group setting may eliminate the necessity of dealing personally with challenges that could otherwise come up. It will also band the workers together as a united force for God, and in unity there is strength.
Warn. There may be times when, as shepherds of the flock, we must identify errors that could threaten the spiritual well-being of our congregations. Paul cautioned the elders at Ephesus, declaring that after his departure “grievous wolves [shall] enter in among you, not sparing the flock. Also, of your own selves shall men arise…” (Acts 20:29-30). Like Paul, we must warn the people of God about harmful influences that can come from both outside and inside the church. Workers meetings traditionally have been the place where this is done, as such matters are best handled when only the family of God is present.
In conclusion, laboring together in the church with the saints of God requires unity, cooperation, and commitment to a common purpose. Workers meetings are one way we can cultivate these attributes, and thus influence God’s people to continue to move forward in alignment with God’s purposes for our organization.
<sup2>1<sup2> For more about our connection with those in our congregations, see the topic Relationship with Workers in the Church in this manual.
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