Helen Shirk

As a child, I was brought up in a Christian home and attended the Apostolic Faith Church. The Word of God was taught to us children every day. God answered prayer many times in our home.

When I was eleven years old, my father, who always worked hard, took very ill, and in a short time was completely paralyzed. After experiencing convulsions every twenty minutes, he was near death’s door, and his eyes became set. It was hard for my mother to give him up, because she had ten young children at home.

One morning, about three o’clock, a minister came from our Dallas, Oregon, church and prayed for my father. Instantly and miraculously the Lord healed him. The neighbors were amazed as they had been so sure he would die. For many more years after that, he worked hard on the farm and raised his large family.

As I grew older, I became rebellious towards my parents. I felt there were too many restrictions place  on me. When I was fourteen, I left home to have my own way and do as I pleased. I wanted to act, look, and dress like the world, and I did.

For years I pretended to be happy. I had a seemingly good time with many friends. However, I was finding that the way of a transgressor was indeed a hard way. So many disappointments and heartaches filled my young life that I often wished I had never been born. I realized that I would never find happiness in the sinful pleasures of the world, since I knew a better way to live, but I was so stubborn I did not want to admit that I was wrong and others were right.

Now and then I would go to church to please my folks. The Lord would talk to me, but I would listen to the enemy of my soul telling me that I could never find happiness serving the Lord. I knew the way of the Cross was straight and narrow, with no room for sin of any kind.

For years my parents carried a heavy burden and often got up in the night to pray for me, so burdened they could not sleep. They also had an altar out in the barn, where it was quiet, and there they spent much time in prayer.

In 1935, while I was working in Portland, Oregon, I received vacation time. I knew I should go home for a visit, but I did not want to, because I was so ashamed of the heartache I had caused my parents. As the time for my vacation neared, I began to be engulfed by gloom, despair, and fear. It got so that I could not eat or sleep. I did not realize that this was Holy Ghost conviction settling on me. Finally, I decided to go home for a day or two.

I had no thought of seeking the Lord, but an incident took place that changed my mind. I had not been home long when, without warning, I became gravely ill. My family knew I was not ready to die, so they gathered around me to pray for my soul. I promised the Lord if He would let me live until the next day, which was Sunday, I would go to church and pray. The Lord answered my prayer, but I backed out of my promise. I decided I had been scared over nothing.

A few days later, I became very ill again. It seemed a heavy pressure was squeezing the breath of life out of me. I was sinking fast into a deep, dark pit, and felt helpless and lost. We did not have a phone, so we could not call for help. I knew help had to come from the Lord.

My mother always kept some church papers that had been prayed over, in a dresser drawer. With what I thought were my last words, I asked for one of those papers. Suddenly, in a flash, my life came before me, and I saw the many times I had turned aside God’s mercy. Just a few days before, I had broken my word again. I wondered if I had crossed the point of no return, and terror gripped my heart.      

Then Jesus came. Yes, He came in time. In the darkest hour of my life, when I did not deserve His love and mercy, He bent toward me and showed that He still loved me. I repented and asked forgiveness with all my heart. I did not pray very long or loud, but I prayed from the depths of my soul. I promised to serve the Lord as long as I lived. He knew I meant it, and He forgave me. His love flooded my soul. From that time on, the worldly pleasures have looked so cheap!

I did not realize, until the burden of sin was gone, what a heavy load I had been carrying. I told my parents I was sorry for all the grief I had caused them, and since then, we have had many years of Christian fellowship. Never once have I wanted to return to the sin that once had me bound. I have found Jesus to be the only source of true happiness.