Burd Ostendorf

The beer glasses and the whisky glasses kept piling up in front of me. I held a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. I had gone into that nightclub thinking I would have a wonderful time. The place was full of smoke. It was noisy from the dancing and the loud clatter of glasses, but through it all, I heard the still, small voice of God. He spoke to me and dropped something into my heart that caused me to get up and leave that place. I shoved my chair back across the floor and walked over to the bartender who was my landlord. That night I told him, “You have seen me in this place for the last time.”

For a good many years, I had lived in Los Angeles, California. Through the depression years, when a dollar was hard to get, I drove a taxicab to make a living for my family. I would buy liquor for seventy-five cents a pint and carry it in my cab. Then, at night, I would hang around the best hotels and wait for someone to pass by who would pay me $5.00 for it—I did not care how I got money.

I had lost all respect for those around me, including my wife and family. My little daughter used to run to me and throw her arms around my neck and say, “Daddy, I love you!” Even that did not make me change my ways. It was not long before my wife said there were going to be some changes made around our home. Those changes came about when she took my daughter and left me. Divorce soon followed, and it seems I went from bad to worse after that.

After I fled Los Angeles, I rode the old freight trains, slept in boxcars, and hung around the skid roads—all the while trying to hold my head up and call myself a man. Finally, the Lord led me into the logging woods of Oregon. Though I wanted to get away from it all, I found that Satan keeps his slaves on the run.

I made good money in the woods but, for about ten years, I spent it all in the nightclubs, theaters, and dance halls, trying to find peace and happiness. All the time I would wonder, “Is this all there is in life? Isn’t there something better than this?”

Then came the night that I heard God’s voice speak to me in that nightclub. I went home and lay on the bed, trying to understand what had happened. I knew that something was happening to me, and I wanted to get away from that type of crowd.

The next day was Sunday, but I started drinking again, trying to somehow drown that feeling. That night, I traveled eighteen miles to a little Apostolic Faith Church in Grants Pass, Oregon. I staggered in and went part way down the aisle. Then I stopped and just stood there. I stared at the quartet that was singing and listened to the words of their song, “Where He leads me, I will follow.” After a bit, the usher tapped me on the shoulder and asked, “Don’t you want to sit down?” I said, “Leave me alone,” and continued to stand there. The words they were singing went deep into my heart. Finally I sat down.

Then the most marvelous thing happened! I found the Friend who could give me the thing I spent years trying to find—oh, the joy and peace!

At the end of the service, the minister came off the platform and asked me, “Do you want to come and pray?” I replied, “That’s what I came for.” Though I did not get saved that night, I continued to attend those meetings.

I had been to other churches and prayed at their altars; I had “accepted the Lord Jesus,” because I wanted to know my sins were forgiven. I had shook the preacher’s hand, signed my name to a church roll, been patted on the back and told, “Brother, God bless you. You will make it.” But it never made a change in my life. I would walk away, strike a match on the side of the church building, and light a cigarette.

This church was different. I did not know why, but the moment I walked into it, I knew it was different.

Then one night, I heard, “Ye must be born again,” and, “Except a man be born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” After that sermon, I stepped out into the aisle and, with a purpose in my heart, I went to the altar to pray. The minister looked this old drunken logger in the face and said, “If you are willing to turn your back on sin and give God a chance at your life, He will do something for you.” I wanted out of the life I had been living for so many years, so I said, “Lord, if You will give me what these people have been talking about, I will serve You for time and eternity.” I meant business! I did not know too much about the Bible, but the Lord gave me a Scripture: “Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you” (2 Corinthians 6:17). Then the most marvelous thing happened! I found the Friend who could give me the thing I spent years trying to find—oh, the joy and peace! When I finished praying, I looked up, and it seemed like Heaven was there. Those kneeling around me looked like angels.

When I went home, I said to myself, “It is so wonderful now, but I wonder how long it will last.” Before I got saved, I used to go out and get “tanked up,” and I would feel “wonderful,” for a time, but the next morning I would always wake up with a terrible hangover. What a wonderful surprise God had in store for me!

I slept a full night of rest and contentment; not once did I wake up and reach for a cigarette as I had done for so many years. I did not need the old morphine or a drink from the bottle to lull the old body back to sleep. God had really done something when I prayed at that altar. He gave me what I had asked for and a lot more than I ever thought was possible.

The change in my heart was real. The thieving, lying, cursing, and swearing were gone. I have never wanted another drink of liquor or another cigarette. The chip on my shoulder fell off at the altar of prayer the night the Lord saved me. God kept me living a Christian life as I went back into the logging woods and worked with the same crew of men for the next five years. I lived a new life before them. Some would point at me and call me “Preacher,” but they knew God had made a change in me.

Two weeks after God saved me, He sanctified me, and later He baptized me with the Holy Ghost and fire. After that, someone told me, “You are just getting started.” Oh, I am so glad I got started! For all these many years I have been trying to tell others of the wonders God has done in my life, but I really have not scratched the surface.

Now, after years of victory, my desire is to stay in the race and finish the last mile of the way.