Etta Kirk

Surely I have much to thank God for, but always foremost in my heart is the fact that God did not take me out of this world in my sins. In my childhood, we had moral training based on how God would punish us for our disobedience. There was no religious background, so I grew up knowing only a fear of God, but nothing about His love and forgiveness.

When I was twenty-three, I was stricken with spinal meningitis. It was the deadly kind that twists your head back between your shoulders and your feet up into your back. The first physician who came in to look at me did not even remove his hat. He just walked out while telling my family, “If she is living in the morning, call me and I will come back.”

Something happened that night. I do not remember praying, because I did not know how. Sometime, during the night, I seemed to pass out of this world. I can never forget it to this day—it is as real as when it happened years ago—that utter darkness, the hopelessness of Hell, as I seemed to fall down and down.

The next morning when the family called the doctor, he said, “I am sorry that she is going to live; I was hoping that she would not, for she will never walk or talk or know her own name.”

I asked God to either take me or heal me. I promised Him I would give Him my life. For days afterward, it seemed my brain was wrecked. The only thing I was conscious of was that vow. God gave back my health; my twisted body was straightened and my mind slowly returned.

I went to church a few times and asked about the vow I had made to God. They told me, “Do this,” or “Don’t do that,” but that did not satisfy me about my promise to God.

Finally, I went out into the world to ease the hurt in my heart, because of my broken vow. I started to surround myself with the material things of this world. Then the blow came and I lost everything—my home, my health, my worldly goods, and also my loved ones—and I was left alone.

Within minutes after my neighbor put in the call for prayer, color came back into my face and she was able to find a pulse.

I boarded a bus in a California city and rode all night and most of Christmas Day, not knowing or caring particularly where that bus stopped or where I would get off.

Upon leaving California, I thought I had made a mistake in buying my ticket, so I tried to have the ticket changed. God had taken over, though, and was directing my steps. There was no reason for me to go to Portland, Oregon, for I had no friends there at that time. The bus brought me to the Portland bus terminal, which was right across the street from the Apostolic Faith Church.

God had timed my steps to the very moment. As I stood on the street corner at Sixth and Burnside that evening, I heard singing from across the street. My first thought was, Angels are singing. That must be the angels’ chorus. I started to go on down the street in the opposite direction, and found it was impossible to walk. It seemed that someone was holding me. I thought, Oh well, I will go over and see what it is. When I started across the street toward the church, that feeling of being held was gone. As I went up the steps, a Voice seemed to whisper, “You should remove your shoes, you are on holy ground.” I knew that when I crossed the street, I crossed from utter darkness into the light of the Gospel. At the Apostolic Faith, I learned for the first time that one could be saved from sin. I knew I was a sinner, and had been for more than fifty years, but no one had ever told me there was a way out of sin.

God talked to me day and night until I could not eat or sleep. I had the Light, and it was up to me to walk in it. I knew what I should do, but I feared to trust God. I feared hunger, poverty, everything. When I could not stand that urging in my heart any longer, I just looked away to God and made a complete surrender. Oh, how I thank and praise God for the Monday morning following the first day of the Portland camp meeting in 1930! I knew nothing about the Bible and had known nothing of salvation. That morning, I did not even kneel. I just raised my hands to God and said, “Anything, dear Lord, in exchange for peace!” In just a moment, the power of God came down and I felt the burden of sin roll away. The fear was gone. There was no longer that loneliness in my heart. I felt as free as if I had never sinned. I felt as clean as a little child. The glory of God flooded my soul, and the peace I had asked for came into my heart. That Joy and peace has remained. I still have salvation, and it has grown better through the years.

Several years ago, God permitted me to be stricken down suddenly, but there was nothing between my soul and the Savior. It means so much, when things like that come into our lives, to know that the prayer channels are open. It seemed I had crossed the river and had just one more step to go. The lights of Heaven were right within one step. But something was holding me back and I could not take that one step. Later I found that God had something for me to do.

Again recently, it seemed I would take that last step, but prayer intervened. Within minutes after my neighbor put in the call for prayer, color came back into my face and she was able to find a pulse. She said that nobody, upon seeing a thing like that, could help but believe in the power of prayer. Oh, how I thank God. He put strength back into my body.

There is just one purpose in my life and that is to keep the prayer channels open and make the Goal. One morning I heard a minister on the radio ask, “If you knew you had just five minutes to live, what would you do? Would you be ready to answer that call?” I set my breakfast tray down on the drain board and pondered the question. Then I thought, I would not wash the dishes; I would just stand there and wait and watch. What a thrill it is to know that Jesus is coming again. I am looking for Him!