Ruth Pallett

I thank God that Jesus’ death on the Cross was for me. I used to visit the Stations of the Cross all during Holy Week. They made a deep impression on me, but Jesus always seemed far away.

I was brought up to confess my sins to man, and I did so every week, but I always went away with a feeling of condemnation. Man was not able to forgive those sins or keep me from committing them again, and the list of my sins grew longer all the time.

Many times after a night of sin—dances, card games, and all-night parties—I cried myself to sleep. But what was I supposed to do? When I asked my folks, they said to try to do better, but they never told me how.

One Sunday evening I was brought to the Apostolic Faith Church at Sixth and Burnside just to hear the music, or so I thought. That night I heard the story of salvation and of victory. I learned that people could live without sinning while still here on earth. I had never heard that before. I was brought twice more “to hear the music,” but it was God’s way of getting me to hear Him.

On the third Sunday, my husband told me he had been saved the night before. He asked if I would go to the altar. The only reason I went was to please him. I knelt and tried to say the prayers I had learned out of a prayer book, but they didn’t go any higher than my head. Finally, in my heart, for the first time in my life, I talked to Jesus directly and confessed my sins. Some I had been ashamed to confess to man, but I told Jesus all. I did not say one word out loud, but God knew the dissatisfaction and the misery in my heart.

I’m so glad I confessed to Jesus that night, because when I arose to my feet I felt clean inside; every sin stain was washed away. Jesus did what man had not been able to do. He even forgave those little sinful deeds that I had been taught were not important. Best of all, He gave me the power to “go, and sin no more” (John 8:11).

When God saved me, He took out the love of the world. My parents had managed dances, and from childhood I was taken to those dances. I was trained to dance on the stage and sing on the radio. I would rather have missed a meal than miss a dance. But God took out my desire for those things. That was proof enough for me that salvation was real. The career I had planned on the stage vanished that night. Those things associated with it suddenly seemed so frivolous. They had never satisfied. Jesus can satisfy when the world cannot.

I am so thankful for the hope I have of Heaven. I used to be so afraid of death. I always feared I would not get to confession in time. Today all that fear is gone. In fact, I am homesick for Heaven. I thank God that He has given me a peace deep in my soul and a satisfaction that the world never gave. Confidence is in my heart. When I am in trouble and the waves are rolling high, I can reach out for God’s hand, and He is right there to help me. I thank Him for it.