Ivar Carlson

I praise God for what He has done for me! I thank him that He had mercy on a man like me and gave me the peace that He said He would give to the one whose mind is stayed on Him.

I was a lost soul! My early years were spent in San Francisco, California, around the Barbary Coast before the earthquake and fire. I knew all the dumps and dives around there.

After I moved to Portland, Oregon, I lived in the old Grand Union Hotel on East Burnside Street. One Saturday I came home from work awfully tired—I wasn’t tired from work, but from carrying the burden of sin. I had shaken this feeling off before, so I thought if I took it easy on Sunday and stayed in to rest, I would be all right Monday morning. This time was different, though.

On Monday, I walked the floor of my room, and instead of going to work, I looked out the window. Then I turned around with my face in my hands and said, “I am lost!” I stood in the middle of the floor and all of a sudden I felt that my time was up, that the Lord had cut me off. It was just as though the clock on the wall had stopped. I thought I had sinned against the Holy Ghost and there was no hope.

I was so tired of my sinful life, but I didn’t think God would save me. I had spent my time at the shows, pool rooms, and dances. I used to sit in a club up town and play card games. Sometimes I heard the Apostolic Faith street meetings, and their testimonies condemned me. It was awful to live that life. I had been trying a long time to resist the conviction that was on me, but that morning I made up my mind to find out where I stood, and I got on my knees. I said, “Lord, if I haven’t sinned against the Holy Ghost, You can forgive me.”

When I was a child back in Norway my father used to read to us from the Bible. One Scripture he read was, “And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee, and thou shalt glorify me” (Psalm 50:15). I remembered that Scripture and I prayed, “O God, show me the day of trouble!” He showed me I was lost.

I went to the Apostolic Faith people and they prayed for me for a whole week. I had no rest in the daytime or the night. When night came, I wished for morning, but when morning came, I wished for night.

Early Saturday morning, I awoke from a sleepless night, and the Lord spoke to me. He said, “It cost Me something to buy you.” It was just as plain as any man could speak. Such hope came into my soul! I answered right back, “I know it, Lord.”

I had always heard back in the old country that Jesus came to seek and to save that which was lost, but I did not know it for myself. Now I knew what it meant to be lost. All that day, I walked back and forth across the Burnside Bridge, waiting for the church to open. I wanted to get to that altar, for I couldn’t do anything until I knew I was right with God. Those people prayed for me, but it wasn’t until about ten o’clock, as I was about to step into my car to go home, that God saved me. My misery was gone. I was so happy that night that I couldn’t sleep for joy.

I could tell so many things that the Lord has done for me since then. He healed me when I was at the point of death. One time, when I was driving in California, my car overturned in the middle of the road right up against a bridge. I thought it was the end of everything when that car flipped around in the air with me inside, but I didn’t get a scratch. The Lord was with me. I thank God for the hope I have in my soul of making Heaven my home.