Meeting Transcripts

Opening Remarks

Welcome

Thanks to each of you for coming out this morning. We appreciate it. It’s good to see a chapel full of ministers and spouses. This will take about an hour, and you’ll be able to tell when we’re halfway through because we’ll have another song.

Endeavoring for Unity

“Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace” (Ephesians 4:3).

Introduction

In this Epistle of Paul to the Ephesians, the theme of unity comes through in three illustrations. The first is the unity of the Jews and Gentiles. The second is the unity of the Holy Trinity, and the third is the unity of holy matrimony.

Unity is not automatic. We must endeavor to keep it. A couple of weeks ago in Portland during a Bible study, Brother John Musgrave quoted something that I had heard Brother Loyce Carver say long ago but had forgotten about. I’m not sure where Brother Carver got it, but I’m sure he also heard it from someone. The quote is: “To live with saints above, oh that will be glory. To live below with saints we know, that’s a different story.” This saying illustrates that unity is not automatic.

Unity of the Jews and Gentiles

Just briefly, without developing the illustration let me point out that the unity of the Jews and Gentiles relates to the fact that they came from completely different cultures. Jews had no dealings with Gentiles. The Jewish converts were being joined with Gentile converts. There was a certain amount of segregation, especially at first. One of the goals of this Epistle was to bring unity to these different cultures. One verse in the second chapter says, “Hath raised us up together,” speaking of Jews and Gentiles, “and made us sit together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus . . . For he is our peace, who hath made both one.” We see unity illustrated there. This could be further developed, but not today. However, we do understand that just as Jews and Gentiles were to be united in Christ, we (not just as ministers and spouses, but as Christians) should be and are united in Christ, without regard to our culture, ethnicity, or anything along those lines. We’re Christians—more specifically, we’re Apostolic Faith Christians. That’s how we want to be identified.

Unity of the Holy Trinity

Then there’s the unity of the Holy Trinity. Again, this is the first chapter where Paul praises the Father for the redemptive work of His Son. It speaks of believers being sealed by the Holy Spirit of promise. The idea of the Holy Trinity reminds us of Jesus’ prayer in John 17 where He prayed that His believers might be one as the Godhead is one, and that the world might believe we are His followers. So, just as the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are one, we are to be united as followers in Christ.

Unity of Marriage

Then there’s the unity of husbands and wives. Briefly again, in Ephesians 5:31-32, “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.” We see that just as husbands and wives are to be one flesh, we as believers, are to be united in our attempt to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. To the extent that we are united, God’s people will be united. We heard a bit about unity last night in Brother LeRoy Tonning’s message. I’m sure that many of you have looked to see what tie Brother Leroy is wearing this morning. I told him that if I saw from a distance that he was wearing a black tie, I would avoid him. He spoke of being positive. We’re not pretending. We are positive. We don’t have to wake up in the morning and say, “Okay, I’ve got to be positive.” We are positive because we have so much to be thankful for and so much to be positive about. To the extent that we are united, God’s people will be united.

We’ll speak of marriage a bit. Our unity is enhanced by having strong marriages in the ministry. A minister who sacrifices his marriage for the sake of the ministry does damage to both. For most of us, our marriage came before our ministry as far as preaching. It was the work of God that brought us together to begin with. I adlibbed too much a week ago Friday, so I won’t do so much today for the sake of efficiency, and for the sake of not wandering out into the wilderness . . . which I just did, by the way!

The work of God brings us together

It was the work of God that brought us together. The work of God provided for and continues to provide for the foundation for a successful marriage. That’s where we started, right? For most of us the work of God brought us together. The work of God keeps us together. That provides the foundation for a successful marriage. It also provides the foundation for what came second for most of us—our ministry.

We don’t abandon the work once we’re married. We don’t abandon the marriage once we’re in the work. We cannot compartmentalize our ministry and marriage. Am I a minister today or am I a husband today? Am I speaking to my wife as a husband or as a minister? That would be odd. We cannot compartmentalize. We are one. God took a rib from Adam to form Eve and pronounce them one flesh. As such, we’re more than a team. We’re one. A team implies two. But we’re one. We’re one flesh. One may preach and the other may not, but as ministers we’re not viewed as independent of our spouses. Paul speaks here of being joined together, meaning to be glued or cemented together. This reminds me of superglue. Sometimes someone gets glue on two fingers, and they get glued together or stuck to something else. The only way we can be separated from our spouse is to die.

Be a positive influence

Our ministry is either enhanced by our spouse, or our spouse detracts from its effectiveness. By the same token, we as an individual either enhance the success of our marriage or present a drag on our marriage. Whatever we can say about the ministry we want to say about the marriage. The impact of the spouse of a minister is not neutral, nor is the impact of a husband or wife in a marriage. Our impact is not neutral. For ministers, our spouses are not to be an afterthought. We are not to leave them behind in the name of the Lord. Women marry for companionship and for love. When that is lacking in a marriage, or when they are taken for granted, they withdraw. When a husband proves to his wife by his attentiveness toward her that the marriage is still important, the wife is more inspired to be supportive. It’s no fun to serve in an obligatory fashion (to do it out of duty). That’s true whether we’re speaking of being obligated to our marriage or obligated to supporting our ministerial spouse.

Support the marriage union

Ministers need the support and strength of other ministers but a minister’s relationship with his spouse is more important than the minister’s relationship with other ministers or even the pastor. Remember that circle that many of us heard about when we were married? It was husband, wife, and the Lord with all others on the outside. I’ve officiated a number of weddings, including for some who are present here. They will remember that in the first session, we met together as a trio. I would have raised certain points, but I would have also proved to them that all others are on the outside including myself. I would have raised some things for them to discuss outside of my presence, and if there was a question that emerged, I would certainly be available. There is a book that I give new couples, which suggests something different. It’s a very good book, Dobson’s “Love for a Lifetime,” and I may refer to it later. He suggests and lists a number of subjects to be discussed in the presence of the minister. I raise those subjects but take exception to that one thing. Not that I’m smarter than Dobson; he is smarter than me, but I do know one thing—I’m on the outside of the union. The way for me to demonstrate that is to be outside from the beginning.

Other ministers are outside that union as well. Your pastor is outside that union. Even the young ministers in Portland know that if they can’t make it to a meeting, they need to let me know—but I’ve told them I don’t need to know why. I trust you. I don’t want you to be accountable to me; I want you to be accountable to God. I don’t want you serving me; I want you serving God. For one married to a minister, God has called you to the task at hand just as much as He has called the minister to the task at hand.

Ministers, if there is some limitation due to your situation, recognize its existence. Don’t preach on rearing children if you have none. If you have young children, don’t preach on how to instruct teens. Don’t preach on the unity of marriage if that’s lacking. Don’t officiate a wedding if you’re divorced.

There are limitations that exist, and denial only increases those limitations. We can’t pretend that they do not exist. The responsibility for that limitation that you may sense that you have is not to be assigned to the spouse. Don’t impose that burden on top of everything else. It’s not only unfair, but also inaccurate. You two are one flesh. You’re more than a team, you’re one. So, remember that our roles cannot be compartmentalized.

Husbands love your wives

A husband, minister or not, has the duty, rather the privilege to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. I dare say that if there were some sort of a threat against our wives, everyone here would step in front of his spouse to spare his wife. That’s easy. That’s not what He’s speaking of, though. We are to love our spouses as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. Are we willing to deny ourselves daily of what is convenient to us in order to encourage our spouse? A harsh, demanding, unreasonable, insensitive selfish man can hardly expect the submission that Ephesians 5 demands of a wife. It would be hard for a wife to resist a man whose husband loves her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.

Engaged in the work of the Lord

Let’s speak of being engaged. Not engaged to be married, but engaged in the work of the Lord, though we can use engaged to be married to illustrate engagement in the work of the Lord. How did it work for you when you were engaged to your spouse? You were interested in her. Life revolved around her and the two of you. When Debbie and I were engaged we wanted to spend time together. I like Dobson’s book which I do use with frequency as I mentioned earlier. He speaks of the twelve steps leading to intimacy, which I cover when meeting with individuals before they are married. The first step is “Eye to Body”—the first time you see someone. This is not referring to an inappropriate manner. It is when you see someone walking across the campground. You may not even cognitively realize you saw that person. The second step is “Eye to Eye.” Now you happen to cross paths and make eye contact. Then you complete the third step, “Voice to Voice,” and say, “Good morning.” Step number four is “Hand to hand.” That could be, amongst men, a handshake. Well, it could be with a woman, too. It’s proper that if there is a handshake to take place, the woman extends her hand to the man, rather than the man extending his hand to the woman. That’s a peripheral issue. That’s step number four. I’m not going to keep going.

One thing I have found helpful in being married is something Dobson says: you are to continue to repeat those early steps throughout your married life. Continue to court your wife. Continue to treat your wife as if you are engaged. That’s her lifeblood. How would it have gone if when you were engaged, you had been disinterested and ambivalent?  . . . If I talk to her today or not . . . whatever . . . if I see her today or not . . . whatever . . . I don’t think the wives would be sitting here with the husbands. It wouldn’t have gone well. To be effective in the ministry we must continue to be engaged in the activities of the Gospel, of the church.

Continue to be as engaged after you have stepped into the pulpit as you were before you stepped into the pulpit. That must continue through the years. We’re not suddenly excused from what inspired the pastor to ask if we were called to preach. So, that is to be at the altar, to be in the prayer room. That is to be in the meetings, to say, “Amen.” That is to keep the testimony meeting going. Don’t expect the congregation to do all of this if you don’t do it. To the extent that we are unified, they will be unified, and to the extent we’re engaged in the meetings and in the Gospel work, they will be engaged. Sit to the front. Everybody sits in the back of the church. The church is going to tip backward. Move up. Sit forward. I understand when we have, as we do in Portland, a number of our ministers with very young children. I understand that, but after a time, as you can, try to work your way forward rather than developing a bad habit of anchoring that back pew.

Areas of Unity

It unifies us to have a consistent manner of operating and the same approach in dealing with certain issues.

Social Media

Let’s talk about social media. It’s an interesting topic and risky. It’s used effectively in some cases and abused and misused in other cases. A couple of years ago I was impersonated. Someone started a Facebook account in my name and had my photo on there. It had a bunch of quotes that it said were quotes from me. I was not very interested, but some around me didn’t really like it—the fact that I was being impersonated. My thought was that if I were going to impersonate someone it wouldn’t be me. In other words, you can do better than that. At church one day, one of the young ladies said to me, “You are on Facebook?” My thought was, Well, you’re on there, why can’t I be on there? Why would you expect me not to be on there when you are on there? She’s a good girl, though, and I didn’t take it personally. I’m not sure how that fake account got removed, but communication was made with Facebook, and we had to prove that the account wasn’t mine.

Public references to social media, such as I have just made can feel awkward because it presumes that everyone uses it. I really am curious. I’m not for it or against it, so you won’t be condemned if you raise your hand, but how many here are not on Facebook? More are not on, I believe, than are on. Public references feel awkward because it presumes everyone uses it, and we’ve just proven that everyone doesn’t. If you make a reference to it, you exclude a portion of the congregation who not only does not use but does not like it. If you’re a preacher, you’ve alienated over half of your audience. Also, public condemnation of social media can feel awkward because it presumes everyone using it misuses it, and that’s not true either. So, we lose the part of the audience who uses it, but doesn’t abuse it, if we condemn it.

The worker handbook that you recently received had this statement in it: “Consider the impact of declining friend requests from church associates recognizing that doing so may create tension in real world relationships.” I had an editorial opportunity before this was published and questioned if we even had to dignify social media by referencing it in there. I was quickly overruled and correctly so. We needed to have something. “Consider the impact of declining . . . doing so may create tension in real world relationships.” My instincts were that maybe it needs to create tension. So at my request, we added these words: “Workers who participate in online social sites should not be hesitant to decline friend requests or unfriend church associates who post offensive or negative comments creating tension or who are simply discouraging.”

For the past couple of years, I have asked Brother Erik Calhoun to speak to the youth about removing any comments or any photos that do not reflect well on this holiness work. But I will tell you, the young people are mirroring the adults.

There are pitfalls to social media. It’s like the difference between dating and marriage. In that same book, “Love for a Lifetime,” Dobson says that dating conceals, marriage reveals. Social media reveals details about people we wish we never knew. It’s as if people want to have their own reality TV show. They go from drama to drama, from crisis to crisis, from urgency to urgency, and they make themselves look absolutely foolish. Please don’t do that. It doesn’t speak well of you. We don’t want to live out publicly what should be private. We don’t want to be omnipresent (everywhere all the time). Those who are watching are following our example, and they presume that if they see a minister or spouse omnipresent, that’s the thing to do. It’s not the thing to do.

Social media empowers. It allows some to project an image of themselves which is different from what exists in reality. What you see is not what exists. Often times they are compensating for what isn’t there at all. If it’s there, you don’t need to project that it’s there. Everyone will see that it’s there. Also, it gives a voice of influence to those not appointed or qualified to have it. It empowers predators and self-promoters who troll, groom, and seduce a following. Good people, perhaps some of you, unwittingly facilitate bad behavior by lending support and encouraging it. It’s unhealthy. Even in Portland, we’ve seen the more visible take credit for things that have happened, but they happened because of the work of those behind the scenes who quietly accomplish what’s done.

Social media gives opportunity for a married person to enter into what begins as a casual relationship with one of the opposite gender. It’s called social media. Being a social person does not provide justification for one to enter into a casual relationship with another person’s spouse. You wouldn’t take my wife to coffee or to lunch or shopping, nor would she take your husband to do the same. That was thoroughly covered in camp meeting 2010 and camp meeting 2011. Those transcripts are on the website on the Minister Resources Page. If you have any questions about that I encourage you to read that again.

It’s inappropriate for a man to “like” a photo of a woman showing off her new outfit or her new hairdo. What strikes me as even more questionable is if a woman has an audience of men, other than her husband, why would she post that to begin with? How does that work? When one gets ready to open a Facebook account, what do they do? Stand by the pool and pose? Then see how many people “like” it? Would I look in the mirror one day and say, “Whoa! Take a picture, Debbie!” What is going on? What is going on? If you use social media, you’re setting a standard for how it should be used—even if you’re misusing it, your example is being followed. So be an example for how to use it appropriately. I’m not going to stand here and tell you not to use it. I will stand here and tell you to use it appropriately. Remember to use modesty, common sense, and discernment. Be sure your photos reflect a holiness way of life. You want to be an inspiration, not by the things you say, but by the way you conduct yourself. You can talk all you want, but it’s how you conduct yourself that people notice.

Furthermore, don’t “like” the shallow comments and photos that are out there. It makes you look foolish. Use social media in a manner that if everything were to become public to everyone—and actually it might, well it will be on the Day of Judgment, if nothing else—including those not using social media, nobody would be embarrassed for you. Consider, what would your mother think? What would your pastor think? What would Jesus think? Use discretion. Consider using the minimalist approach instead of the omnipresent approach. Lower your exposure. Remember that social media on the job, in the neighborhood, in the business world, everything you do and everywhere you go represents the Apostolic Faith Church, whether you want it to or not. It does represent the Apostolic Faith Church. People often look on, and they will rise to the lowest common denominator. More than once I’ve asked those who have come from abroad, not to judge the entire Portland congregation by the worst example. We want sinners to come. We want even those who are immodest to come. We do stipulate certain dress and so on for the platform, but still, don’t focus on the worst examples. We’re trying to get them to come along. We are examples and we will be followed.

We would not video a prayer meeting and post it. A person is alone with God, so whatever is taking place, we would certainly not video and post. It would be irreverent. 

Politics

We want to stay away from politics in our preaching. We don’t need to cover controversial current events or pop culture to be relevant. We don’t need to stand up and preach against homosexuality; we want to stand up and preach for Jesus. People don’t need to be reminded of the decline of America, they need to be reminded that Jesus saves. People are pretty much, they’re aware. We want them, when they come to church, to hear something different than what they’re bombarded with when they’re outside. So we may give some things a glancing blow, but not political or controversial views. We’re not going to do that. There have been a couple of elections where I’ve been reminded to announce that there’s an election coming and I haven’t done it. People know there’s an election coming. I don’t need to stand up and tell them, “Hey, by the way did you here there’s an election coming?” I want them to hear Jesus. That’s not to say that I don’t digress from time to time.

We don’t want to name conservative or liberal television talk show hosts or talk radio hosts. It defiles the pulpit to name their names. Don’t even go there. You might adore someone, but somebody else maybe can’t stand to listen to them. I’ve mentioned before that when Debbie and I are driving a long distance and I feel like I’m getting tired, I’ll turn on talk radio. Debbie can handle it for about eight minutes before saying, “Turn that guy off.” She doesn’t want to hear the arguing or the bickering. So, I always turn it off. That is usually enough to wake me up. Don’t talk about athletes, ball teams . . . etc. Preach Jesus.

Minister’s Manual

As noted in March, utilizing the Minister’s Manual helps keep us unified. It has been updated, and .pdfs of the current sections have been uploaded to the Minister Resources Page of the website. Just go to the website, then to the Library and Minister Resources Page, and sign on. If you haven’t requested permission to access the Minister Resources Page, you certainly need to do so. Go to the bottom left corner of the website where a button says, “Log In.” (People don’t need to log in to use the website.) That button will lead you to the right questions to be answered and show you how to log into the Minister Resources Page of the website. If you’ve never been there, your first attempt will simply be sent to the office as a request that you have access. Within twenty-four hours or so you will receive permission and be told that you have been granted access. So with respect to the Minister’s Manual, it is now there.

We are working on having it in an eBook format so it can be read on digital devices. We expect that to be available by the end of the year. We will let you know when it is available. It’s very nice. I have seen it. We have the Table of Contents on one side and the material on the other. If you wanted to read about marriage, you would scroll down the Table of Contents, click on Marriage Ceremonies, and read what comes up.

In addition, in September I will begin emailing excerpts from the Minister’s Manual on a regular basis to the pastors, requesting that they forward it to their ministers. It keeps us unified if we all are reading it from time to time. We may pick a chapter or a segment and give you an email weekly for a month and then take a month off. If it becomes routine, then pretty soon you won’t read it at all. The idea is to help us all, and remind all of us to read the Minister’s Manual. It helps, too, all around the world because it holds pastors accountable to the ministry. If a minister reads something and says, “Well, my pastor’s not doing it that way . . .” and the pastor is reading it and saying, “Uh oh,” then we are accountable.

If you see something in the Minister’s Manual that needs correcting, such as an omission or something stated in a manner that reads just the opposite of what you know was intended, let us know. You can still email through the website and your comment will eventually get to the committee that addresses that. It would be very helpful. We’re still calling this a draft version. It’s very close to being final, though. This whole worldwide organization has had an opportunity to contribute to its success. Don’t stand back and say, “Well this is crazy;” send a note that says, “This is crazy,” and we’ll look at it.

Tattoos and Jewelry

We request that those who participate in our work not mark or pierce their bodies or adorn themselves with things like rings or necklaces, whether at church or away from church. This was covered fairly thoroughly on March 11, 2011, in a minsters’ meeting. Those transcribed comments are also on the Minister Resources Page of the website. I’ll mention three things today. First, we don’t need to be timid or apologetic for our approach. It’s our responsibility to establish expectations for those who participate in the work. Whatever those expectations are, that’s our prerogative. That wasn’t in the “Believer’s Bill of Rights” that Brother Michael Anthony spoke about, but it could have been. In order to have any right, you must fulfill a responsibility. It is like the promises in the Bible, which often come contingent upon us doing something. So, don’t apologize, it is what we stand for, it is what we are.

Second, feel free to use these comments to help you frame your response to those who inquire. However, just like all of these ministers’ meetings, this is not Gospel literature. This is merely instruction in terms of us being unified, in terms of how we conduct ourselves around the world. Nobody wants to be the one location in the world that conducts itself differently than every other Apostolic Faith Church in the world.

Third, we don’t apply the same standard to those who attend our church services. We don’t turn them away. In Roseburg, when I started coming to church, they said, “Come as you are.” We want people to come as they are even if they’re sinners. We hope they will leave different than they came, but we don’t look down on them. We want them to come. We welcome anyone, provided they are not sowing discord or jeopardizing the safety or unity of those who attend.

Communication

In the March meeting (I’ll only say this about the communication aspect of unity), the key point that we tried to convey was not to complain about the pastor’s lack of communication, but instead to . . . do what? Communicate. Do you see the irony to say, “So and so does not communicate,” and for me to say, “Well, does he know that you think he doesn’t communicate?” So don’t complain; communicate.

We covered this a little bit too, so I won’t be too thorough here. When a minister has a complaint against his pastor, it’s helpful for all concerned if he takes his grievance directly to that pastor. We covered that on March 6. Aside from us covering it, the Bible covers it. It’s helpful to all concerned. It’s helpful that the parties communicate their perspectives because they may come to understand, “Wow, I’ve never thought of it that way.” So we all learn. We all gain when we communicate productively, not destructively. Communicate with candor. Candor is good, but make sure you can receive candor as well as you can dish it out.

Conflicts of Interest

When an unresolved difference emerges, it’s important we recognize where a conflict of interest exists. BusinessDictionary.com defines a conflict of interest this way: “It’s a situation that has the potential to undermine the impartiality of a person because of the possibility of a clash between a person’s self-interest and a professional interest or public interest.” It’s what James calls having partiality. It’s where an inherent bias is in play. We see it most readily in a conflict between two people other than ourselves, but one of the two is our relative. Recognize the conflict of interest. Another conflict of interest is when one of the parties is our good buddy from grade school. The conflict of interest is where our self-interest to preserve our friend or relative is in conflict with the interest of resolving what an impartial party, knowing all the facts, might say is easily resolvable. When you are not neutral, recognize that you’re incapable of rendering an impartial judgement or assessment of the situation. That’s why we don’t pick a battle of our friend or of a relative. In cases where we are part of the problem, we must recuse ourselves. We must say, “I recognize here that I’m part of this problem, so I cannot render judgment even if there is no appearance of a conflict of interest.” Even if we were to say, “I know there’s a conflict of interest, but I can see clearly . . .” No you can’t. It’s a conflict of interest. To those looking on, it appears to be a conflict of interest, so we would avoid even the appearance of it by recusing ourselves and putting it in the hands of our ministers or ultimately the Board of Trustees. That is what I would do. Actually, that’s what I have done, where the conflict involved me. We want God’s will anyway. We don’t want our will. We don’t want a conflict of interest. We want the Lord’s interest at heart.

Forgiveness and Consequences

With respect to forgiveness, we readily extend it, even to those who don’t ask for forgiveness. Of course, we do. With respect to consequences, they exist. In bringing up children, failure to apply consequences is confusing and unhealthy for them. How many times are you going to count to ten before you finally do what you said you would do when you counted to ten? You’re teaching them bad lessons. You’re teaching them there are no consequences. My mother or my father can count really well, and they can do it over and over again. That’s unhealthy. Consequences continue through our lifetime. After the fall, blood was shed for covering for sin in the Garden for Adam and Eve, but they still suffered the consequences of having disobeyed God and eating of the forbidden fruit. Though the blood sacrifice was made, and the covering was provided, they were still driven from the Garden of Eden and they lived with the consequences. That’s consequences. After David sinned, though he was restored to God, he never again enjoyed the favor he had before he failed God. He didn’t complain about it, he just accepted the consequences. I’ve said some of these things before, but I will repeat them. When one accepts the consequences it’s an indication that responsibility has been accepted. If one says they accept responsibility, but they refuse to accept the consequences, they have not accepted responsibility at all. We do no one any favors if we facilitate their escape from consequences. It’s like when we say of a child, “It hurts me too much to discipline them or to apply the consequence that I said I was going to apply when I counted to ten.” It hurts you too much? It hurts your child too much for you not to. As a body of believers, it undermines our credibility to not stand by what we say. It ought to undermine our credibility if we don’t stand by what we say. Some of this has been covered in past meetings as well so we won’t go any further into that. But I will say it’s refreshing when someone declares simply, “I messed up,” period. “I blew it.” No excuses. No reasons. Just, “I messed up.” That’s so refreshing and that’s something we can work with.

Don’t be fooled by those who fail and then employ tactics as old as the Garden of Eden to justify their failure, such as saying, “It’s somebody else’s fault,” or “They’re picking on me. I’m the victim here.” Don’t fall for that ploy. You do no one any favors.

When one fails, we do our best to spare them embarrassment and shame. There have been some failures that you never knew about. There have been some failures that just one or two knew about because there was some dynamic where they were aware of it. They could stand up here before you and say, “It’s true. I was aware of a failure. I am aware of a failure, and no one ever knew the extent of the failure.” We do our best to spare shame and embarrassment because we are hoping there is restoration along the way. I can think of two occasions where someone’s failure would need to be disclosed by us. Usually, it’s not necessary because they disclose their own failure by their conduct afterward. But in terms of our responsibility, we will only expose someone’s failure when the safety of the church is at risk or when the guilty refuses to cooperate with our attempt to tell them of their problem. Then they try to cause confusion, and where confusion ensues, a measure of the failure would be revealed out of necessity. However, it is not unlike an iceberg where what is disclosed is a minimum of what really exists. I’m not talking about covering up or white washing something. I am talking about hopes of restoration.

One who has failed is in no position to dictate how the ministry is to handle their failure. Those who leave our church and later want to return are welcome to do so, but they are not in a position to stipulate the terms under which they return. They would have to come back the right way. If they have created confusion, were not truthful, or sowed discord, they must fix as they return what they wrecked as they left. Their fixing needs to be as public as their wrecking. So it’s important they return through the same door they left. They cannot leave in a tantrum at one location and welcomed by the saints in another location. We also want to be cautious of those who come to the Apostolic Faith from another denomination. Before we embrace them in our work, we would want to gain some understanding of how they left that other denomination. With respect to employment references, the best predictor of future performance is past performance. That’s true for human behavior as well.

Share Your Perspective

Being unified does not mean we need to be a “yes” man or woman. Unity doesn’t mean blindly following. It does mean following, but we can’t be so agreeable so as to be a disservice to those we are following. It’s alright, in fact it’s not only alright it’s your responsibility to share your perspective with your superiors, for lack of a better word. Co-laborers would be a better word, but there is a chain of command. So share your perspective. You won’t be penalized for a different perspective. You have a responsibility to do it. Share it with the right person. But then after you share it remember your perspective is one of many. Even the strongest personality with the strongest perspective would be happy to know you will not automatically view something the way they recommend you view it. If you just jump today for that person, even they know that another strong personality will show up on another day and pull you the other way. So the lesson is your perspective is one of many. Share it, but don’t be offended if it’s not followed. I will read this next thought: “We should not be guided by the strong and more forceful voices any more than by those who are more restrained in expressing themselves.”

Holding Others to a Higher Standard

Be mindful lest your expectations of others be higher than what you can live up to yourself. If you view what you deem as a weakness in a minister or in a minster’s wife, or husband, whatever the case may be, be careful that you are not applying a standard to that man or that woman that you or your spouse fail to meet. When we speak, people aren’t hearing our words, they are hearing the person. And they’re not just hearing the person, they are hearing the person’s spouse. So everything I’ve said today, everything I ever say, you are filtering through a view of what you know about me and my wife. (Sorry Sister Debbie.)

So let’s determine to hold up one another’s hands. Be a gracious assessor of the other preacher. I don’t sit assessing the preachers, because I know I’m going to be up there pretty quick, and I need them to be gracious in their assessment of me. That’s not disingenuous, that’s the way I feel. We want to be gracious of the spouses of the ministers as well.

Personality Differences

We’ll close with Ephesians 4:11 before we faint of heat. “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers.” When we’re talking about unity, this is the goal. “For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God.” There is a variety of personalities and backgrounds and cultural differences in we who sit together, but none of that is a hindrance to our unity. If anything, it enhances our unity.  We want God to help us to be all we can be for Him, and to be the inspiration that He wants us to be to those who observe us and to those with whom we labor.

Let’s stand, shall we? We’ll be dismissed in prayer.